Chapter three - Joe

Another week, another... portrait. This time, it´s all about Joe
Or is it?

Something warm and soft bumps into the small of my back
Aaaaah right...

Yeah right, it´s her. What a sight to wake up to!
Some days it´s just to good to be true to be me...
"Hey Kristie, fancy some..."

"Mmmmmpf WHOAH BABY!"

Yeah. Wow.
She may not be the sharpest tool on the shelf, but ... who cares?
"Forry Doctor, but I need to hurry... or I´ll be late for work"
she lisps

"No problem, I´ll better get ready myself now- see ya sometime"

Did I say get ready?
Man, I´ve been BORN ready

Anyways, time to restore some calories

That girl is the bomb, no doubt about it. Always ´round when needed and gone the minute I am done- gee, I think I found the perfect woman

And come to think of if, not only the perfect woman

Yeah, this little italian boy has come far

Wonder what you would say if you knew, familia

And the perfect morning to take a ride in my brand new Vaugester... this is getting better by the minute

Shame really I still have to waste my time with those moth eaten relicts...
both on display and in leading positions here

Wait a minute

GNOMES?! They put up a GNOME exhibition?!?

"Harold! What the hell is this, there is a gnome exhibition in the main hall? Where are the Al Simhara relicts?"

"They have finally been stored, Dr. Carella, as you would know all to well if you would as much as check your memos! All the major pieces where moved into Hall C- and now stop yelling at me, I just work here, just like you do!"

"And in case you have not noticed, DOCTOR, the stuff you dug up in Egypt all those years ago is simply OLD NEWS"
Old news... crap... my whole reputation is based on those old news, donkeyhole...

"Good morning Doctor! How are you today? I placed the mail on your desk, do you want a cup of coffee?"

Thank god for good girls like Holly- best secretary ever
"That would be sweet love... actually, make it milk and sugar, will you please? I feel a bit unvalued at the moment... the actually removed my artefacts for a gnome exhibition, can you believe that?"

"Yes sir, I saw it this morning. It´s incredible, after all you have done for the institute! But don´t worry, they will soon enough realize their mistake and remove those silly garden ornaments!"

And with this outburst she dissapears behind her monitor again.
Gee. Never noticed the girl had a temper?!
"Eh, right... thanks for your support Holly, if you need me, I am at my desk..."

Memos. Who on this earth still uses memos to commnicate?! Why can´t the old bastard just sent emails, like anybody else?!

Oh. He did sent me an email about it, too

"No longer of interest for the audience... outdated"
I stare at the text, I don´t know for how long
In the end, I shut the laptop

Inevitably, I turn to the blowups of the ancient maps on the wall of my office

Those invaluable maps I brought back from this expedition to Al Simhara almost seventeen years ago

Two maps that lead the way to the tomb of Ankh Sim Amun, said to be filled with riches beyond imagination

Only that you need all THREE of the goddam maps to find the goddam grave, and I only have two of them
Damn. DAMN!

I so need to get my mind off of this... how do they say? In the desert, every weed is a flower
"Holly?"

"Thank you again for the coffee, it was much needed... say, could I return the favor by taking you out for lunch, eventually?"

"But Doctor, the pleasure was all mine"
Ooooooooh, what do we have here?

"In fact... I would not mind to return... the pleasure I had... if you like? You look like you could dou with some.. rise of the spirit, today?"

Hmmmmmmmmm excellent
"Sounds like the best thing I heard today so far, but- where?"

"Just follow me Doctor..."

Now who would have guessed. Ever- relieable Holly hast not only a temper, but an appetite, too? This will be interesting

"Holly where are you leading me? Trust me, storage boxes are not all to comfortable"
"Just turn right"

"A pile of mattrasses?!"
"They came with the large paintings from Europe last month, to secure them in the big transport boxes"

"Well how usefull is that"
  And just as I pull her near

FLASH!!

WHAT THE HELL?!?

"Oh dear, no!"  "What the hell are you doing up here? Didn´t you see the sign downstairs- "Staff only behind this point"?"

"Aw, what am I doing up here... my job, maybe? Just because nobody gives a shit about your artefacts anymore doesn´t mean the newspapers won´t buy some nice juicy pictures of formerly respectable archeologist Dr.Giovanni Carrera making out with a married woman, yanno?"

"Get lost you cockroach! And better hurry, before YOU make it into the headlines with something like "paparazzi dies in tragic accident in museum´s attic"

"Chill man, chill- no need to get rude, eh?"

Married woman, eh? Is it just me who smells a rat here

"Doctor I am so sorry, I had no idea...."

"Hold it. Married, eh? And then this reporter guy pops up, totally at random? Get lost Holly. Just go. And if I see as much as a three- liner about this in any newspaper, you are fired!"

With a sob, she turns and runs

I can´t believe it.
The downside of popular, eh?
Not famous enough to get respect anymore, but still well known enough to be dragged in the mud

I just hope she is smart enough to take the rest of the day off

I need, need, need something new to show them I am not only the Wunderkind archeologist from years ago

But as always it all boiles down to what I already know,
the only lead worth following I have is in those cursed maps

And the truely crazy thing is, if I had not been so overambitious back then, I could even have the third map today

Night is falling and still I have no clue how to get out of this mess
What if they cut my research expenses?

And again I can not come up with a solution

Why worry, today is today.
And today I still have a decently paid job that requieres next to no work
Time to call it a day and have a cocktail or something

"Hello sweetheart, what can I get you?"

"One Marsimi, please, no olive... thank you"

"Straight away" the barmaid purrs
I examine her a bit closer
Jeeze! What a looker

And she can pour a decent drink, too
Hmmmmmmm

Why waste time here?
"Say- not to be nosy, but- do you work late tonight?"

"Yes sir, I do. My shift ends at four am"

"But guess what, it´s very very quiet here in the early afternoon"

Strike! "Ideed, I would not have noticed... but then again, you have distracted me... so what do you suggest, pretty one?"

"I suggest we don´t waste time now, sweetheart, and I take a break"

Yes. HELL YES
"There is a little motel just down the road... we won´t even need a car"
"I know the place..."

"Wait, how do we get a key? It´s after their office hours"
"Don´t worry so much sweetheart, just go ahead"

She has a key for one of the rooms on her...
I love girls with a sense for the practial, I really do

And no, I don´t mind at all as long as she doesn´t try to charge me for this

"This was fun sweetheart, we should repeat it some time. Need to get back to the club now, though... take your time, the room is paid for "
"Yeah, thanks. And same here, pretty one"

This was fun.
More than fun, in fact, it was... spectacular... amazing...
So why do I feel so hungover

I decided for myself long ago that a few drinks fix about everything, but I don´t feel like returning to the club

The Green Lizard.
Not the most inviting name for a bar, but I don´t care.
Not today

The barmaid goes along with the ambiente nicely. Yuk
"One Nyan Cat, please"

The med for everthing
Last time I had three of those, I woke up on the beach, naked, no memory how I got there
Let´s see if it works out again

Life music? Ok I might need four tonight, then ...
Wait a minute

This can´t be
Christ almighty, it´s him

Tonight of all nights
Here of all places
The drinks I had kick in, I almost fall as I slip down from my barstool

It´s him alright I can hardly believe it

Payback time. After all those years 
"Nicholas West! Is that really really you, Nicky Boy?"

He puts down his guitar and just stares at me, stonefaced
"What is it with you? New carreer?"

"The mute one man band? That your new thing, yeah?
Ooooooh Nick West turned his back on society after being shamed and makes a living playing in bars, yeah?"

"Why don´t you just shut up and mind your own business, Joe?
You won, I lost, you´re in, I am out, so what else do you frigging want from me?"

Joe?
Nobody calls my Joe anymore
Suddenly my blood boils
The drinks do the talk for me
"You know damn what I want. You know frigging well what I want! I WANT THE THIRD MAP NICK AND IT´S DOCTOR GIOVANNI CARELLA!!!"

"Oh now that´s sweet. You want the map, DOCTOR?
I tell you something DOCTOR, I don´t have it, and even IF I had it I´d rather wipe my donkey with it or roll myself a smoke with it before I´d give it to you! You have taken ALL from me, why the heck should I give you anything?! - Come to think of it, I could give you a new facial structure right now, what you think of THAT?!"

It´s amazing how fast one can sober up - it´s almost a miracle I even manage to dodge his punch at least halfway
Christ why didn´t I just walk away when I spotted him, he is going to eat me alive, even these days!

"What is going on here?! Part, you two!"

"Sir, has this man bothered you?"
"What?!? Sheila, he..."

"Shut up Nick. Sir?"
The bouncer! Phew
"In fact, yes- thank you Madam, I was trying to start a conversation, and he went off like a rocket..."

"Don´t worry sir , our Nick has a bit of a temper sometimes. I will take care of this right now- why don´t you have a drink on the house?"

"Sheila, he..."
"Which part of ´shut up Nick ´ didn´t you get the first time? I am talking to the customer right now, gottit?"

"Alright, alright. I get it. Relax, ok? I was done for today anyway, I will pack my stuff and I`ll be gone, ok?"
"You better! You remember what happened last time, don´t you?"

Aaaah. Sweetness defined... but I better leg it before he is ready to leave.
No need to risk finding him waiting for me outside the bar later, huh?

I can still hear the bouncer telling him off while I sneak out.
Perfect

I stagger towards my car as fast as I can manage and drive off
And just in time- in the rear view mirror I can spot Nick leaving the bar, too

"Crap. Crap. Crap"

"Sir? Are you alright? I couldn´t help but notice the fight and ..."

"And now what? You want your share?
Or do you want to use the chance for a good old kick in the ribs or what?!"

"What?! No! I- I only wanted to... I am sorry, please excuse me, I didn´t mean to..."

" I am very sorry, very sorry "
"Lady, no- please..."

"... I am the one who ought to be sorry"

If the bastard as much as bruised me, I´ll put him to court I swear!
 This time he´ll be sorry

Hmmmm phew
No swelling...
No black eye tomorrow

Dio mio what a day. And it started so promising
Hm, shizz. I really have to do some research, I have to come up with something 
But first I need some sleep

Oh dear

Kristie. I completely forgot about Kristie 
This is really one of these days